If, like me, you’re lucky enough to have lived to see your peri-menopause years you might be acutely aware of the phenomenon of older women’s vilification, parodying and silencing in ‘the culture’.
This, like everything else, is at its most virulent on social media but trickles down to mainstream media too, via a combined process of visual elimination of older women in broadcasting and magazines (“Get me a sexy female scientist!”) and a concentration of dismal, pitying, limiting, admonishing stories about middle-aged and older women in newspapers.
Older women who make the news are spiteful WAGS, jilted wives, deluded late bridezillas, inappropriate MILFs. They’re lonely, shrill, angry, mad, bad or sad, grotesquely un-young in a variety of ways (we’re scolded and mocked for new and exciting ‘problem areas’ every day of the week, the latest being the jawline for some reason) or, well, dead. The recent media frenzy around the tragic disappearance of Nicola Bulley in Lancashire is a case in point.
But the process of silencing is aided and abetted by the professional women who take themselves out of the picture by not appearing, not showing up, not representing their company, institution, field of knowledge and expertise even when discovered and approached, because….
Well, why do women who have something to say and the opportunity to say it keep themselves away from the limelight? What gravitational force keeps them grounded among the audience – of the conference, the special supplement, TV broadcast, the ten part series, of life itself – rather than the stage?
As Head of Comms at a variety of organisations, a big part of my job became coaxing and nudging middle-aged female colleagues, all great experts in their fields and in excuses for why they specifically weren’t the right person to comment on something.
Yes, it’s good to be prepared. You’re a professional, you’re not just going to demi-derrière it, if you’ll excuse my French. Media training can help you feel ready. Media training with me will help you see yourself as worthy and ready.
But as you postpone and procrastinate yet again, because taking centre stage is uncomfortable and challenging and requires an extra effort you just don’t have the energy for in your life right now please ask yourself this question: who is speaking for you?
Chances are it’s a middle aged man. He may or may not be knowledgeable and well-meaning but what’s certain is that his worldview and best interest won’t always or indeed often align with yours. And his jawline won’t even be chiselled.
Only a woman can speak as a woman. This applies way more widely than to family, social or medical issues that might affect women directly. Networks of female experts in everything are springing up to give women’s perspectives on things as superficially gender-blind as international trade, such as the amazing Trade Experettes.
Go on then. Get ready, clear your throat and get on air.
Comments